The Day After
by obsessionist97
Summary: Nate takes a trip down memory lane... not the memory lane he would have liked to choose. Supposed to be a oneshot, but I've included another chapter. NatexSophie Review please
1. Chapter 1

**The Day After**

_The day after Sam's funeral, when it was a done deal that he wasn't coming back, Nate began drinking. _

_At first he had held off. When Sam was diagnosed, he still saw him regularly. He didn't want Sam to see him drunk or hungover, the way he had seen his father most of the time. _

_And then Sam got to Stage 2. And then Stage 3. By the time Stage 4 rolled around, it had become a metaphorical staring contest between him and a bottle. _

_The bottle was winning. _

_But it wasn't just Sam. Maggie needed him sober, too. She was having a hard time keeping up with the bills and her job, and to let her take it all alone would have been cruel of him. _

_So he pushed on, fighting the bottle, trying to stay optimistic. To keep up with the bills, he continued working for IYS, traveling for very short times. _

_On one of these travels, he met up with Sophie. Of course, she knew everything, and immediately recommended Nate to someone she knew who could cure Sam. At first, he was ecstatic. He kept the news from Maggie, wanting to surprise her. Then he heard how much it would cost. _

_Knowing that they were pretty much out of money, he went to Ian. _

_First, he mentioned the expensive painting he'd recovered while away. He caught the thief as well, which certainly didn't hurt. Ian took all this well, happy that he didn't have to pay forty million dollars for the painting's insurance. _

_Then Nate mentioned the treatment he found for Sam. The one that was only one-fourth of what he'd recovered. And Ian's face went stone cold, and he refused. Even after taking a real look at their situation, he refused. _

_Nate was reduced to begging. Every day, Sam got worse. Every day, Nate pleaded for the simple one million. Every day, Ian claimed that it was experimental. _

_And then one day, it happened. Nate was driving home, discouraged, and he got a call from Maggie. _

_"Sam-" Maggie choked out on the phone, through tears. In the distance, a voice could be heard, announcing multiple codes regarding cancer. Nate made an illegal u-turn and reached the hospital in record time- only to see his son be defibrillated, and not respond. _

_Nate screamed incoherently. His entire world shattered before him, the eye of the storm a flat line. _

_He and Maggie did whatever they had to through tears and broken hearts, and came home robotically. Only it wasn't home. Not without Sam. Not without the meaning to their lives. _

_The last time Nate saw his son, alive, was in his room that morning. He told Nate that he saw their dog in his dream. The dog had been dead for a year, and Sam had been heartbroken over it. Maggie told him that their dog was in a better place, and Sam wanted to know what it looked like. _

_Nate remembered Sam that morning, saying that their dog visited him and told him that the wait was over. Nate's heart had iced over, but he brushed the feeling away and told his son to not talk to dead creatures. _

_Nate ran to his son's room, only to find it exactly the same. Books everywhere, clothes all over, toys scattered on the floor. One was on his bed, a stuffed dog he used to cuddle with on cold nights. _

_A puppy he named Sam, after himself. _

_Nate broke down, clutching the stuffed puppy as though it were a lifeline. Through his tears, he begged anyone who could hear him to let this be a dream, let him wake up, let Sam be alive..._

_When no response came, he went down to Maggie. She was in front of the fridge, unmoving. Nate walked over and saw a drawing on the fridge. _

_Three figures were drawn. One labeled 'Mommy', one 'me', and one 'Daddy'. And he and Maggie fell into each others arms, crying so hard they thought they would suffocate. _

_The pain was so sharp, so intense... Nate didn't know how to make it stop. It didn't exactly help that he looked in the mirror with self-hatred and disgust, knowing that he was the one who let his own son die._

_He began drinking, elated when the memories began to fade and pained by the fact that he wanted to forget. This, in turn, led to more drinking and more pain, in an endless cycle. _

_Soon enough, Nate lost his job. Even before that, he lost Maggie, who left him because she couldn't handle losing her son and husband to cancer. _

_Nate began living a different life. Step one, he was drinking a lot. That in itself differed from his old lifestyle. But now that he was a fired IYS cop, he wanted to help people who were in situations like his. Maybe not having to do with children all the time, but people who were being taken advantage of by others who were hiding from the law. He took jobs and worked hard. Even alcohol couldn't make Nathan Ford lose his edge. _

_He never saw Sophie again. He figured that she blamed herself for Sam's death. He knew she shouldn't, but he couldn't bring himself to find her. The memories she brought with her were just too much for him..._

...

...

"...Nate... Nate!"

"Hnnnn..." Nate moaned.

"Nate, wake up." A voice demanded gently.

"Wha?" Nate slurred, drunkenly making his way back to consciousness. He opened his eyes to see Sophie standing in front of him, looking at him with concern. "Soph..." he whispered brokenly. It was then that he realized the existence of the tears running down his face, and the sharp pain sticking into his heart.

The pain reminded him of the dream he had that was all too real, and he burst into fits of sobbing and shaking.

"Nate..." Sophie sighed. She gathered him into her arms and consoled him as best as she could.

"It's all my fault... all of it..." he sobbed painfully. "I could have saved him... I could have..."

"Nate, there was nothing you could have done," Sophie said gently.

"Sam... " Nate moaned. "I'm so sorry..."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** Did I promise or did I promise? Haha this was difficult to write, but I hope you enjoy it. Enjoy!**

**The Day After- Additonal Chapter**

When Sophie woke up the next morning, the small calander she kept on her bedside table reminded her that Nate had given the team the week off. Of course, she was the only one who knew why. Sam had died around this time, and he always gave the team time off. Despite the pain, and the drinking, he was a good actor. He acted like they deserved a break, and none of the team members had noticed so far that it was always around the same time every year. Or if they did, they said nothing on the subject.

She, having known Nate on a personal level for much longer than the rest of them, never actually took time off, but made sure she knew where he was and what he was doing. She never made herself known unless he was in trouble (meaning hopelessly drunk) and he needed her help, and due to the alcohol he never recalled her presense when he was sober again. But this time would be different. After last night, she knew that he needed help and support more than she had ever known.

They say that time heals wounds. But the wounds caused by Sam's death seemed to be opening more and more as the time went by.

She reflected on these thoughts as she drove to Nate's apartment, and entered it to find him still asleep. She expected that he would be, since he was sleeping off a lot of alcohol. She quickly cleaned the place for him; she knew he would have a hangover, and she also knew he would play host if he woke up to a messy home and try to clean up.

She barely had time to settle down on the couch to wait out his sleep before he started to stir. She ran to get him some water, knowing from experience what alcohol can do to your head after sleeping.

"Uhhhhh..." Nate groaned as he woke up. He looked around sleepily. "Soph? Whad're you doin' here? Ah thought you had vacation?" Nate inquired, slurring his words slightly.

Sophie rolled her eyes and held out the glass. "Good morning to you too, Nate. Now drink the water."

Nate frowned. "Pushy, aren't you?" he muttered, drinking the water despite himself. Sophie watched with hawk-like eyes as he finished the water.

"Good." She said. "Now, I have some plans for us today..." she started, sitting down next to him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a second!" Nate protested. "Who is 'we'? I gave you all vacation so I could get my house and my life to myself, just for a week! Is that too much to ask?"

"Well, Nate, you usually spend your vacations alone, right? Don't you think vacations are more fun when you spend them with someone else?" Sophie asked. Before he could reply, she added, "I know whenever you give the team vacation, Eliot, Parker, and Hardison go somewhere together!"

"And what about _you_, hm?" Nate asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um... good question," Sophie muttered to herself. Loud enough for Nate to hear, she said, "I usually go spend some time with Tara. I help her with cons, or we just hang out together."

"Oh, really?" Nate asked, raising his eyebrows. The truth is, he knew she didn't ever go anywhere. Every time Sophie has helped him, when he was drunk, when he was hungover, when he was crying on her shoulder, he remembered everything about it, from what she was wearing to what she said to him. Of course, he never told her that, and was content with letting her think otherwise. It was the one thing he knew that she didn't, after all.

"Yes..." Sophie said, dragging the word out hesistantly.

"So, where's Tara now?" Nate asked, feigning curiosity.

_Bloody hell. I have no idea; I haven't spoken to Tara is months!_ "She was too busy running a con for me to visit her this time." Sophie lied smoothly.

"Ok, I understand that, but _where_ is she?" Nate asked.

"She... said she couldn't tell me, since she was starting to suspect that the people she's conning were catching on, and they may have bugged her." Sophie said, struggling to figure out why Nate was questioning her. He had no reason to, she thought, because he never remembered that she helped him. Maybe revealing her presence was a bad idea...

Nate frowned. "That's not good. Maybe she needs your help to go there and help her tie the con together?" Before Sophie could respond, he picked up his phone. "I've got her number here somewhere..." he muttered, scrolling through his contacts.

"No!" Sophie shouted. "Ah, I mean... I already asked her, and she said she was fine..."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to check and make sure. She might have been protecting her pride at the risk of her safety, you know." Nate said. "Ah! Here's her number!"

Sophie knew, if Nate called Tara to ask about this, Tara would never give her a moment's peace. First she would annoy Sophie trying to figure it out, then once Sophie snapped and told her the reason, she would constantly try to get Sophie to tell Nate what was really going on, or worse, just tell him herself!

Just as Nate was about to call, Sophie reached out and grabbed his hand, effectively stopping him from hitting the call button. She looked at the floor as she said, "Nate... don't call her."

"Why?" Nate asked, gently raising her head so he could meet her eyes. The moment she looked directly into his eyes, she could see that he knew.

"How did you know?" Sophie asked finally, all the while noticing how close they were standing to each other.

"Alcohol can't fully erase anything from my mind, or render me incapable of using it. You should have known better, Soph. After all, you've seen me pull off nearly impossible cons while being drunk all the way." He reminded her.

"So... everything that happened..." she started, not quite wanting to believe it.

"I remember everything." Nate confirmed. "Every last thing about what you've done to help me. And you were wrong to think I would ever forget something so important, drunk or not."

"Why did you never bring it up before?" Sophie asked.

"I... I was ashamed that you had to do it. All of it." He admitted. "But I could never bring myself to push you away. I needed you, Sophie. I've always needed you. I still do!" Sophie looked at him, surprised that he would admit to such a thing. She knew how he liked to keep his emotions bottled up inside. Before she could say anything, though, he kept going. "You know, the thought of you is the only thing that keeps me going every day. I wouldn't be able to keep going without you! I lo-"

Nate suddenly stopped talking, his eyes growing wide as he realized how much information he had just leaked to Sophie. The information he didn't even want her to know. He was frozen for a moment, his mind racing to try and figure out if he could play it all off somehow.

"Nate..." Sophie trailed off, unsure of how to tell him what she wanted to say. She wanted so badly to believe that he loved her, but he never could... and she hated how crippled it left her emotionally.

She decided to take advantage of his momentary paralysis and make a leap of faith. Taking a deep breath, and hoping desperately that this wasn't bad timing on her part, she leaned in and kissed him. Taken completely by surprise, the only way Nate could proceed (and the only way he would have proceeded, even if he had some other choice) was to kiss her back.

When the two broke for air, Sophie saw something she hadn't seen for ages. Nate's expression was one of complete peace and serenity. His eyes were closed, his head resting on her shoulder. His mouth was curved into the smallest of smiles, but it was the most content smile she had ever seen on his face. He opened his eyes slowly, and looked around the room, seeming to be in a daze. He focused his eyes on her.

"Sophie... I'm sorry. I'm an idiot, and I know I should have told you this a long time ago... I love you." Nate said sincerely. "I love you, and I hope you can forgive me for everything I've done to you."

"Of course I can, Nate." Sophie said gently. "I love you too, after all."

Nate sighed, resting his head on her shoulder again. "I could stay like this forever..." he mumbled.

"So could I, but like I said, Nate, I've made some plans for us today..." Sophie said, grinning.

"Do these plans involve shopping with my money?" Nate asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Actually, yes. They do." Sophie said seriously. Nate froze. "Well, come on!" she exclaimed, getting up from the couch and dragging him with her.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Nate groaned internally as Sophie started putting her plans into action. But even as he thought this, and even though he knew if he didn't watch out he could become broke in a matter of hours, he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Ok, I know that this was AWFUL, but I really didn't mean for this to have more than one chapter! It took me forever to write this too, so review and let me know how it is. Thanks all!**


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